Why Healing Doesn't Mean Forgetting All The Time?

Embracing Your Story's Wisdom Without Drowning in Its Weight

"Your scars don't make you weak—they're stories written in your skin, teaching lessons only survivors can read."

Let's talk about the well-meaning but deeply frustrating advice we've all heard:

"Just move on.""Why can't you let it go?""It's time to get over it."

This constant push to "move forward" feels like being shoved into a race you never signed up for, doesn't it? As if healing from trauma is some kind of sprint to the finish line of "feeling better."

Here's what I know for sure: That's not how healing works. Not even close.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 "𝗟𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗼"

Imagine someone handed you a book and said, "Read this, but forget every page as soon as you turn it." Sounds impossible, right? That's because our experiences, especially the painful ones, aren't meant to be forgotten. They're meant to be understood.

Your trauma isn't some old sweater you can donate to Goodwill and forget about. It's more like a language your body and mind learned to speak. The goal isn't to forget this language—it's to understand what it's trying to tell you.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗿 (𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲)

Picture your trauma as a suitcase you've been carrying. At first, it was packed in chaos, stuffed with fear, shame, anger, and pain. The zipper barely closed. You've been lugging it everywhere, its weight becoming part of your walk, your posture, your whole way of moving through the world.

Healing isn't about abandoning the suitcase on some random curb. It's about sitting down, opening it up, and sorting through its contents with purpose:

» That fear that kept you hypervigilant? It taught you to read rooms.» The shame that made you question everything? It gave you empathy that runs soul-deep.» The anger that burned hot? It showed you what matters most to your heart.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘆 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴

Let's be real about what healing actually looks like, because it's not all meditation apps and inspiring quotes:

Sometimes it's ugly crying in your car because a song on the radio ambushed you with a memory.Sometimes it's saying "no" to someone and feeling your whole body shake with the power of it.Sometimes it's catching your reflection and finally seeing a survivor instead of a victim.

And you know what? All of it is valid. All of it is progress. All of it is you becoming more you.

𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆

• 𝘾𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙎𝙖𝙛𝙚 𝙎𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙁𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 - Instead of running from your emotions, create deliberate spaces to feel them. Maybe it's a morning journal practice, a weekly therapy session, or a quiet walk where you let your mind wander freely.
• 𝙐𝙣𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙨𝙙𝙤𝙢 - Ask yourself: What has this experience taught me about my strength? My needs? My capacity for resilience? The answers might surprise you.
• 𝙍𝙚𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 - Your trauma might have written some rules in your life: "Never trust." "Always be prepared." "Stay small." It's time to examine these rules. Keep what protects you, rewrite what restricts you.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴

Here's what I want you to really hear: You don't have to forget your story to write new chapters. You don't have to "get over it" to grow beyond it. You don't have to pretend the hard parts never happened to prove you're healing.

Your story, all of it, is valid. The pain parts. The survival parts. The messy, complicated, still-figuring-it-out parts.

You're not just healing. You're becoming. And that becoming? It's a masterpiece in progress.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗡𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽

Ready to explore what healing could look like on your own terms? Let's work together to unpack your story and find the wisdom within it. Book a consultation or download my free guide: "Healing Without Forgetting: Your Journey Starts Here."

Remember

You're not carrying too much. You're not healing too slowly. You're exactly where you need to be on your journey of becoming.

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